Surprising Life

June 30, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Who would have thought it would end up like this? tumblr.com image

Who would have thought it would end up like this? tumblr.com image

If you live in the U.S. with access to major news outlets and social media channels, then you’re no doubt aware of the recent turn of events that celebrity chef Paula Deen has faced.

How many of you think that Deen would have imagined just a few weeks ago what now seems like a meteoric career descent and life fall?  Do you think Deen, at 66 years old, would have expected her recent life circumstance twist?

Regardless of the multi-layered controversy that surrounds the facts involved, Deen’s case is a reminder of life’s unpredictable nature and the ups and downs and triumphs and struggles that all of us must face during our lifetimes.

What about you?  How do you approach the fickle nature of life?

Does knowing that life will reveal both positive and negative experiences give you a more optimistic or pessimistic outlook?  And, have the unexpected realities of your life given you great or small expectations about your future?

I’ve heard older friends say, “nothing surprises me anymore,” and maybe it’s true that we are less surprised by unexpected happenings as we mature.

I don’t think the question to consider is whether life will or will not surprise us.  Rather, I think the more important question that we should be asking ourselves is: how can we surprise life?

We certainly face circumstances that happen “to us,” i.e. things that are totally beyond our control, but we can also help create our circumstances, good and bad.

To end this post on a positive note, what good are you going to show this world that it’s never seen?

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Hailing Gardenias and Summer Down South

June 23, 2013 by Leave a Comment
NC gardenia blossum image - June 2013

NC gardenia blossum image – June 2013

Today, I could write about WikiLeaks’ support of Snowden or about the future possibilities of personal drones delivering burritos in U.S. airspace, or about Fab labs and personal digital fabrications, all of which are multi-layered topics of interest that are headlining U.S. news reports this week, but I’ll pass.

Instead, I’d like to keep things simple and celebrate the recent summer solstice and one of the uncomplicated beauties of summer – the gardenia.

The shrub, with its unmistakable, sweet-smelling white flowers, loves the heat and strongly signals the return of warmer days and nights.

How do you feel about gardenias?  Are you a fan?

Gardenias have long been celebrated here in the South.  Yesterday, a friend gave me a gardenia blossom, and, when I lowered my face to inhale the fragrance of its bloom, I had the experience that I always do when I encounter the gardenia scent – my mind was flooded with memories of summer times with family and friends that all occurred while I’ve had the chance pleasure of living down South.

In 1997, I wrote the below poem that included many things synonymous with Southern living.  Though the poem highlights the magnolia, I could have easily included a reference to the gardenia.

I hope you enjoy the poem, and I wish you a 2013 summertime that’s sweeter than the most fragrant gardenia or a “ton of sweet tea”:

Down South By Chance

Red Man, Wild Turkey and sweet red wine
Tobacco roads winding past the fields of time
Molasses n’biscuits and pecan pies
“Brother” and “sister” times seven or five

A “Pansy,” a “Ruby,” a ton of sweet tea
Magnolia leaves on mantles
Red cardinals in trees

Go Pack, go Heels and “Duke is puke”
Sun shining brightly on seersucker suits
Bar-b-que, collards and black-eyed peas
A deer, a quail, a bird dog, the sea

The Country Club and “coming over for drinks”
Hot porch nights with laughter and shrieks

Mama’s boys and Daddy’s girls
Signet rings and strings of pearls

Sunday school and amazing graces
Callused hands with careworn faces

Southern pride and circumstance
Ignorance to some at a glance

But not to me
For what I see
Is the glory of my fate and destiny

1997

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Do You Know Any Reverse Snobs?

June 16, 2013 by 3 Comments
gonala.com's seersucker fabric image

gonala.com’s seersucker fabric image

Reverse snobbery.

Can you think of an example?

How about seersucker?  Yes, I’m referring to the fabric.

According to Wikipedia, the summertime fabric, seersucker, long associated with the South, is an example of a reverse snob.  The seersucker definition on the site includes this description:

“The fabric was originally worn by the poor in the U.S. until preppy undergraduate students began wearing it in the 1920s in an air of reverse snobbery.  Damon Runyon wrote that his new habit for wearing seersucker was ‘causing much confusion among my friends. They cannot decide whether I am broke or just setting a new vogue.’”

Besides seersucker, do you know of any individuals who you would consider to be reverse snobs?

According to dictionary.com, a reverse snob is “a person overly proud of being one of or sympathetic to the common people, and who denigrates or shuns those of superior ability, education, social standing, etc.”

How about three-time U.S. President William Jennings Bryan?  According to Wikipedia, Bryan was called “The Great Commoner,” because he held faith in the wisdom of common people.

I know of one man who can be called a reverse snob.  Who is that person?

I’m talking about a man who served as a defense attorney for nearly 30 years, gladly representing many of the common people in eastern N.C.

I’m talking about a man who reminded me when I first met high-ranking executives at companies like IBM and Microsoft 20 years ago, “remember, they put on their pants in the morning the same way that you do – one leg at a time.”

I’m talking about a man who, as a N.C. district court judge, fairly upheld the laws of the state of N.C. while supporting the rights of women, children and victims.

On this Father’s Day 2013, I’m referring to someone who is a true Southern gentlemen and a personal hero of mine — my father, Tyson Yates Dobson, Jr.

Ironically, I’ve never seen my Daddy wearing seersucker, though I think he has an old seersucker suit somewhere in his closet.  I am 100 percent sure, however, that reverse snobbery is in his wardrobe.

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Are You Ready for a New Highway Overhead?

June 10, 2013 by Leave a Comment
i2.cdn.turner.com's Domicopter image

i2.cdn.turner.com’s Domicopter image

So, have you heard the news reports about the pizza delivery drone in the UK that can reportedly deliver two large pizzas within ten minutes in a four-mile radius?  If not, check out this video featuring the Domino’s DomiCopter.

What do you think about unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs)?  Have you formulated your “official opinion” on drone technology yet?

If not, you can check out numerous Web sites and online news features that tout the positive and negative applications of drones.  Here are some examples:

Sites that promote the positive aspect of drone technology:
Dronesforgood.com
Drones for Good – Google+
Privacy concerns shouldn’t ground journalism drones

Sites that promoting the negative aspect of drone technology:
A dangerous world of new drones
Domestic drones and their unique dangers
Privacy concerns soar as drones patrol U.S. skies

Or, maybe you’d like to explore drone technology on a more personal level?  If so, you can order yourself a toy drone or become a member of online community DIY Drones, “the leading community for Personal UAVs.”

A “drone” in nature can be defined as a bee or male wasp.  Without doubt, it seems that many individuals are abuzz about drones of the unmanned vehicle kind these days.  Even poets aren’t exempt from the drone topic.  For example, check out the satirical poem, “The Drone Poem.”

But, let me return to you and your opinions.  Would you like to see drones flying overhead in the U.S.?  Are you ready for a new overhead drone highway?  Last, what would your favorite application for a drone be?  (reminder:  no need to respond with the answer, “at-home pizza delivery.” Domino’s already has that one covered.)

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Marco!…Polo!

June 2, 2013 by Leave a Comment
June 2013 poolside photo, Cary, N.C.

June 2013 poolside photo, Cary, N.C.

Well, as Ella and Louis might have said, “it’s summertime.”

Listen to these sounds of summer.  Would you agree with me that there’s nothing quite like the voices of parents and their young kids poolside that mark the advent of the summer season?

What are your favorite summertime memories? And, what are the things that comprise your summertime hallmarks?  Grilling out?  Neighborhood porch parties, beach trips or dining al fresco, maybe?

Yesterday, I heard an old summertime carol that reminded me of my youth and made me know that, without doubt, summertime is upon us.

The young voice I heard yesterday sang out two words:  “Marco Polo.”  Instantly upon hearing the two words, I was transported back to the early 70’s and could see myself in the pool at the Country Club of Johnston County playing the what-is-still-enduring Marco Polo game.

Are you aware of the history of the Italian merchant Marco Polo?  It seems that Marco inspired another famous explorer Christopher Columbus.  For that reason, it’s not surprising and, actually, seems fitting that American kids in droves sing out the name of a famous Italian each summer.

I’ll conclude by sharing this poolside image, taken in Cary, North Carolina on what was a glorious, summer day today:
by the pool in Cary, N.C., June 2013.

by the pool in Cary, N.C., June 2013.

It’s summertime, for sure.  Are you a fan?
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Are We Limiting Justice?

May 30, 2013 by Leave a Comment
limonwhitaker.com's image of gavel smashing a clock

limonwhitaker.com’s image of a gavel smashing a clock

Have you heard the news that an estimated 400,000 rape kits are sitting untested here in the U.S.?

Watch this “Rape kits go untested for decades” news report by CNN’s Randi Kaye.

After first viewing the segment, I felt angry. I also felt empathy for the two rape victims who were interviewed in the piece as well as thousands of other rape victims who have been hurt by the described negligence and injustice of the U.S. legal system. Last, I was appalled by the fact that varying U.S. state statute of limitations laws applying to rape cases are allowing known rapists to walk free after committing their crimes.

According to about.com, a statute of limitations is “the time limit the law puts on police and prosecutors to lay charges in a crime” and is “put in place in order to ensure that people are swiftly brought to justice by police and to allow people to move on with their lives without fear of past deeds coming back to get them after they have reformed themselves.”  Also according to the site, murder and treason are the only crimes for which statutes of limitations do not apply.

What do you think?  Do you think that U.S. states should have the right to create statutes of limitations for misdemeanor or felony rape cases?

It seems that if the status quo for rape case statutes of limitations continues in our country, more bad deeds will go unpunished.

Yes, maybe it’s time to change some laws, and maybe it’s time to unlimit justice for U.S. victims of rape.

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Still Laughing Along

May 19, 2013 by 6 Comments
rmtlondoncalling.org's sexism poster image

rmtlondoncalling.org sexism poster image

I follow the teamgloria blog that is authored by a talented writer who also happens to be a “glorious” woman.  This post of hers about an episode of blatant sexism that she experienced earlier this week was difficult to read and gave me pause.

Though work and personal tasks have kept me busy over the past few days, the truth of that post – the fact that it’s 2013 and women in the U.S. are still experiencing sexism on a professional and personal level – has lingered in the back of my mind.

Over the past few days, I’ve thought about the behavior of men and women and have asked myself questions like:  Exactly what is it in our modern world that keeps sexism and sexist attitudes alive?  Is sexism something that’s learned, or are sexist beliefs and attitudes derived from somewhere within us?  And, can both men and women be held responsible for perpetuating sexist beliefs?

Consider the unending female focus on external beauty and the struggle to attain what society deems as the “perfect body.”  Since the days of Cleopatra, women have adorned themselves with jewels, worn makeup and perfumes, and have striven to be considered beautiful in society.

Why do women strive for external beauty?  Is the end game goal to attract members of the opposite sex?  If so, then aren’t women partially culpable in objectifying themselves?  When it comes to sexism and its causes, the questions and answers aren’t always simple.  And, the same can be said for being a woman.

Back in 1997, I wrote the below poem that speaks to the complexities and paradox of womanhood.  Whether you’re a woman or man, I’d love to hear your feedback on this post and the poem.  One last point I’ll make is that sexism, past or present, is no laughing matter.

And I Laugh Along

The older man with the aging ego
winks at me and I laugh along with him.

And though my smile does fool him,
I am more than the sweet symbol
of remembered youth and pleasure
he envisions.

For within me and my youthful frame
clangs Eve’s hymn of experience.

Within me, I hear the sounds
of widows’ hearts breaking.

Within me, I hear a chorus of
countless mothers’ sighs that
drowns out all of the
intense borning cries.

Within me, I hear
what I am yet to know.

And I softly smile,
already realizing that
being a woman in this life
often means being misunderstood.

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Remembering the Roses

May 12, 2013 by Leave a Comment
multi-colored rose image via designboom.com

multi-colored rose image via designboom.com

Last weekend, Kentuckians and countless others around the world witnessed the run for the roses and Joel Rosario’s now-famous ride on Orb to win the 2013 Kentucky Derby.

This weekend, and, especially today, is a time to stop and remember the roses in our lives.

Which roses?

I’m referring to those who have cradled us, guided us, scolded us, pulled for us, and, above all, loved us during our lifetimes – our mothers, of course.

Do you have a mother or mother-in-law alive or deceased who you are thankful for today?

Are you a mother yourself who has been blessed by the experience of giving birth or adopting a child?  Or, are you someone who is childless but who gives someone or some specific cause your utmost care and concern that is equivalent to a mother’s touch and affection?

If you’ve ever tended to a rose garden, then you’re aware that mothering is not always an easy task.  Growing roses require continual care and maintenance that often varies, depending on the variety of rose involved.  Similarly, growing children require continual care, guidance and supervision that will often vary, depending on the particular needs of the individual child involved.  Like roses, no two children are alike, so, when it comes to the mothering of children, the “how-to” rules aren’t often clear.

Without doubt, the fragrance of a rose is most distinctive.  Do you think the same can be said a mother’s love?  I think many would say so.  Consider this Pinterest board entitled, “There is Nothing Like a Mother’s Love,” for example.

On a personal note, today I’m thankful for my mother-in-law, a beautiful rose of a woman of the Spanish variety, and my mother, who is not only a beautiful rose but is also a beautiful Pansy.

Who are the roses filling the garden of your thoughts today?

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Cinco-Cinquième of May

May 5, 2013 by Leave a Comment
May 5 Cinco de Mayo

May 5 Cinco de Mayo

Today is Cinco de Mayo, and numerous Cinco de Mayo festivals and celebrations are underway here in America.

In the U.S., Cinco de Mayo is a day for celebration of the culture and heritage of Mexico, including its traditional foods and drinks, such as tacos and Tequila.

Do you know the broader history of Cinco de Mayo?

According to history.com, the fifth of May “commemorates the Mexican army’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War (1861-1867).”

Yes, it seems that Napoleon III and the French aimed to take over the Mexican territory back in 1861 but were ultimately unsuccessful in reaching that goal.

What if the French had taken over Mexico?  Can you imagine what would have emerged from those two combined cultures?  Just think of the food choices, for example!

In the spirit of reconciliation and in celebration of both Mexican and French cultures, I’m sharing two, fun Mexican-French breakfast recipes:

Mexican French Toast* Rolls
Mexican French Toast*

The first recipe above contains one ingredient, Nutella, that is famously popular with kids and adults around the world, however, you can thank the Italians, not the Mexican or French, for that sweet component.

I’ll conclude today’s fifth of May post with these words:  Viva Mexico!  Vive la France!  And, viva Italy!

*Note:  According to Wikipedia, the recipe for “French Toast” has Latin and German origins.

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It’s Your Move (Life)

April 27, 2013 by Leave a Comment
houseofchess.com's wooden chess pieces image

houseofchess.com’s wooden chess pieces image

“Life is like a ___.” How would you fill in the blank and complete the metaphor?

A carnival?  A box of chocolates (like Forrest Gump might say)?  A rodeo?  A race?  A soap opera?  A stage?  A competition?  A chess game, perhaps?

I’ve never been a huge chess player, but, after watching Charlie Rose interview Magnus Carlsen, the young and famous Norwegian chess grandmaster, I was reminded that aspects of the game of chess can be applied to aspects of living.

Carlsen has been called, “the Mozart of the game,” and was just named to the 2013 TIME 100 list as one of the “100 most influential people in the world.”  During the interview with Rose, Carlsen stated the following about the game of chess:

“I think it’s always better to be overly confident than pessimistic, because I’ve realized sometimes after games that, you know, I was actually way too confident…I was way too optimistic.  But, if you’re not optimistic, if you’re not looking for your chances, you’re going to miss opportunities.  And, you know, I think there are plenty of players in history who have been immensely talented, but they’re just too pessimistic.  They see too many dangers that are not there.”

What about you?  Do you think Carlsen’s advice regarding optimism can also be applied to the act of living?  Can you think of times in your business or personal life when you’ve been overly confident and experienced your desired outcome?  And can you think of times when pessimistic thoughts or fears have held you back from achieving more?

During the Rose interview, Carlsen also admitted that the most satisfying aspect of the game of chess for him is not winning.

He said, “To me, what’s more satisfying is the battle leading up to the point where you’re gaining an advantage…it’s more satisfying than the end, which is often a matter of wrapping up.”

Do you think Carlsen’s philosophy about where the most satisfaction can be found in a game of chess can be applied to life?  Do you find the most joy and satisfaction in your efforts and struggles to achieve goals rather than in your achievements, themselves?

Finally, which overall metaphor can be applied to your life right now?

Is your life like a game?  Go ahead.  Tell me.  It’s your move.

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