Backtrack Thinking and Reverse Calling

July 28, 2013 by Leave a Comment
examiner.com's accidental butt dial image

examiner.com’s accidental butt dial image

The last post I drafted was my 100th consecutive weekly MySheCave.com posting.

Ironically, my annual beach vacation started a week ago today, and I promptly missed drafting a weekly post last Sunday.  Therefore, today’s post, my 101th, will be a “double post,” featuring two, unrelated topics that you will hopefully find somewhat interesting:

Topic 1:  Gertrude Stein

Why Gertrude?  Well, have you ever said or thought something and wondered if you were the true originator of those specific words or thoughts?  That’s what happened to me recently with Gertrude Stein.

Though we haven’t visited Paris together yet and even though my husband’s family originates from Galicia, Spain, he and I have often happily spoken these words to each other, “North Carolina is where we live, but Paris is our home.”

For a few years now, I’ve been thinking that the expression was “our little saying,” but, I recently began questioning that thinking after glimpsing a scene from The Devil Wears Prada movie that was re-airing on TV.

During the scene, I heard a voice say that Gertrude Stein once stated, “America is my country, and Paris is my hometown.”  Upon hearing the statement, I asked myself the question, “Didn’t I already think of that?” and then came to the conclusion that “our little saying” wasn’t solely ours.  Again, what about you?  Have you ever caught yourself questioning whether your statements and/or thoughts are original ideas?

Topic 2:  Reverse Butt Calls

In this age of mobile computing, you may have heard about or experienced butt calls, but are you aware of reverse butt calls?

A teenager recently educated me about both terms and the difference between the two – the former being an unintentional dialing instance and the latter being an intentional call action taken by a caller who wants to deliver a particular message to the dialed recipient but wants the dialed recipient to believe that the call and message were delivered unintentionally.

I remember making a few prank phone calls with friends using a good old rotary dial phone back during my teenage days, but the idea of reverse butt calling someone seems a bit more complicated and a bit less fun.  Would you agree?

If so, I would bet your chronological age is well beyond those fun, challenging and unforgettable year numbers between 13 and 19.

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Figurative Flames Burn Brightest

July 14, 2013 by 3 Comments
Candle Night in Gouda, western Netherlands

Candle Night in the city of Gouda, western Netherlands (image via poppiesandicecream.blogspot.
com)

Yesterday morning, a Dutch friend of mine who I met during my college years tragically lost his wife.  She passed away after being hit by a drunk driver on the morning of July 5, 2013.

During the days between the accident and yesterday morning when his wife passed away, my friend requested that his family and friends follow a Dutch tradition and light a candle in honor of his wife and in hope that she would recover.  Sadly, all of the well wishes and hopes in those lit candles were extinguished yesterday, when my friend’s wife drew her final breath.

Often, during tragic times, we long to see the beauty and bits of good in the dark reality.

In this instance, in my opinion, the candles lit by my friend’s loved ones, literally and figuratively, provided a source of positive light during this darkest of times.

To what kind of figurative light am I referring?  Love light, of course,  And, when it comes to love light, there are many spectrums.

Some have said that a mother’s love burns the brightest, but I’m certain that the familial love between other family members (including those of the furry kind), the passionate feelings between lovers, and the heartfelt feelings between friends can compete.   And, I would be remiss as a Christian to fail to mention who I believe to be the greatest source of love light, my Savior.

What do you think?  What kind of love light have you experienced in your life, and which flames have been the strongest?

For whom would you instantly light a candle?

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Surprising Life

June 30, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Who would have thought it would end up like this? tumblr.com image

Who would have thought it would end up like this? tumblr.com image

If you live in the U.S. with access to major news outlets and social media channels, then you’re no doubt aware of the recent turn of events that celebrity chef Paula Deen has faced.

How many of you think that Deen would have imagined just a few weeks ago what now seems like a meteoric career descent and life fall?  Do you think Deen, at 66 years old, would have expected her recent life circumstance twist?

Regardless of the multi-layered controversy that surrounds the facts involved, Deen’s case is a reminder of life’s unpredictable nature and the ups and downs and triumphs and struggles that all of us must face during our lifetimes.

What about you?  How do you approach the fickle nature of life?

Does knowing that life will reveal both positive and negative experiences give you a more optimistic or pessimistic outlook?  And, have the unexpected realities of your life given you great or small expectations about your future?

I’ve heard older friends say, “nothing surprises me anymore,” and maybe it’s true that we are less surprised by unexpected happenings as we mature.

I don’t think the question to consider is whether life will or will not surprise us.  Rather, I think the more important question that we should be asking ourselves is: how can we surprise life?

We certainly face circumstances that happen “to us,” i.e. things that are totally beyond our control, but we can also help create our circumstances, good and bad.

To end this post on a positive note, what good are you going to show this world that it’s never seen?

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Hailing Gardenias and Summer Down South

June 23, 2013 by Leave a Comment
NC gardenia blossum image - June 2013

NC gardenia blossum image – June 2013

Today, I could write about WikiLeaks’ support of Snowden or about the future possibilities of personal drones delivering burritos in U.S. airspace, or about Fab labs and personal digital fabrications, all of which are multi-layered topics of interest that are headlining U.S. news reports this week, but I’ll pass.

Instead, I’d like to keep things simple and celebrate the recent summer solstice and one of the uncomplicated beauties of summer – the gardenia.

The shrub, with its unmistakable, sweet-smelling white flowers, loves the heat and strongly signals the return of warmer days and nights.

How do you feel about gardenias?  Are you a fan?

Gardenias have long been celebrated here in the South.  Yesterday, a friend gave me a gardenia blossom, and, when I lowered my face to inhale the fragrance of its bloom, I had the experience that I always do when I encounter the gardenia scent – my mind was flooded with memories of summer times with family and friends that all occurred while I’ve had the chance pleasure of living down South.

In 1997, I wrote the below poem that included many things synonymous with Southern living.  Though the poem highlights the magnolia, I could have easily included a reference to the gardenia.

I hope you enjoy the poem, and I wish you a 2013 summertime that’s sweeter than the most fragrant gardenia or a “ton of sweet tea”:

Down South By Chance

Red Man, Wild Turkey and sweet red wine
Tobacco roads winding past the fields of time
Molasses n’biscuits and pecan pies
“Brother” and “sister” times seven or five

A “Pansy,” a “Ruby,” a ton of sweet tea
Magnolia leaves on mantles
Red cardinals in trees

Go Pack, go Heels and “Duke is puke”
Sun shining brightly on seersucker suits
Bar-b-que, collards and black-eyed peas
A deer, a quail, a bird dog, the sea

The Country Club and “coming over for drinks”
Hot porch nights with laughter and shrieks

Mama’s boys and Daddy’s girls
Signet rings and strings of pearls

Sunday school and amazing graces
Callused hands with careworn faces

Southern pride and circumstance
Ignorance to some at a glance

But not to me
For what I see
Is the glory of my fate and destiny

1997

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Do You Know Any Reverse Snobs?

June 16, 2013 by 3 Comments
gonala.com's seersucker fabric image

gonala.com’s seersucker fabric image

Reverse snobbery.

Can you think of an example?

How about seersucker?  Yes, I’m referring to the fabric.

According to Wikipedia, the summertime fabric, seersucker, long associated with the South, is an example of a reverse snob.  The seersucker definition on the site includes this description:

“The fabric was originally worn by the poor in the U.S. until preppy undergraduate students began wearing it in the 1920s in an air of reverse snobbery.  Damon Runyon wrote that his new habit for wearing seersucker was ‘causing much confusion among my friends. They cannot decide whether I am broke or just setting a new vogue.’”

Besides seersucker, do you know of any individuals who you would consider to be reverse snobs?

According to dictionary.com, a reverse snob is “a person overly proud of being one of or sympathetic to the common people, and who denigrates or shuns those of superior ability, education, social standing, etc.”

How about three-time U.S. President William Jennings Bryan?  According to Wikipedia, Bryan was called “The Great Commoner,” because he held faith in the wisdom of common people.

I know of one man who can be called a reverse snob.  Who is that person?

I’m talking about a man who served as a defense attorney for nearly 30 years, gladly representing many of the common people in eastern N.C.

I’m talking about a man who reminded me when I first met high-ranking executives at companies like IBM and Microsoft 20 years ago, “remember, they put on their pants in the morning the same way that you do – one leg at a time.”

I’m talking about a man who, as a N.C. district court judge, fairly upheld the laws of the state of N.C. while supporting the rights of women, children and victims.

On this Father’s Day 2013, I’m referring to someone who is a true Southern gentlemen and a personal hero of mine — my father, Tyson Yates Dobson, Jr.

Ironically, I’ve never seen my Daddy wearing seersucker, though I think he has an old seersucker suit somewhere in his closet.  I am 100 percent sure, however, that reverse snobbery is in his wardrobe.

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Are You Ready for a New Highway Overhead?

June 10, 2013 by Leave a Comment
i2.cdn.turner.com's Domicopter image

i2.cdn.turner.com’s Domicopter image

So, have you heard the news reports about the pizza delivery drone in the UK that can reportedly deliver two large pizzas within ten minutes in a four-mile radius?  If not, check out this video featuring the Domino’s DomiCopter.

What do you think about unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs)?  Have you formulated your “official opinion” on drone technology yet?

If not, you can check out numerous Web sites and online news features that tout the positive and negative applications of drones.  Here are some examples:

Sites that promote the positive aspect of drone technology:
Dronesforgood.com
Drones for Good – Google+
Privacy concerns shouldn’t ground journalism drones

Sites that promoting the negative aspect of drone technology:
A dangerous world of new drones
Domestic drones and their unique dangers
Privacy concerns soar as drones patrol U.S. skies

Or, maybe you’d like to explore drone technology on a more personal level?  If so, you can order yourself a toy drone or become a member of online community DIY Drones, “the leading community for Personal UAVs.”

A “drone” in nature can be defined as a bee or male wasp.  Without doubt, it seems that many individuals are abuzz about drones of the unmanned vehicle kind these days.  Even poets aren’t exempt from the drone topic.  For example, check out the satirical poem, “The Drone Poem.”

But, let me return to you and your opinions.  Would you like to see drones flying overhead in the U.S.?  Are you ready for a new overhead drone highway?  Last, what would your favorite application for a drone be?  (reminder:  no need to respond with the answer, “at-home pizza delivery.” Domino’s already has that one covered.)

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Marco!…Polo!

June 2, 2013 by Leave a Comment
June 2013 poolside photo, Cary, N.C.

June 2013 poolside photo, Cary, N.C.

Well, as Ella and Louis might have said, “it’s summertime.”

Listen to these sounds of summer.  Would you agree with me that there’s nothing quite like the voices of parents and their young kids poolside that mark the advent of the summer season?

What are your favorite summertime memories? And, what are the things that comprise your summertime hallmarks?  Grilling out?  Neighborhood porch parties, beach trips or dining al fresco, maybe?

Yesterday, I heard an old summertime carol that reminded me of my youth and made me know that, without doubt, summertime is upon us.

The young voice I heard yesterday sang out two words:  “Marco Polo.”  Instantly upon hearing the two words, I was transported back to the early 70’s and could see myself in the pool at the Country Club of Johnston County playing the what-is-still-enduring Marco Polo game.

Are you aware of the history of the Italian merchant Marco Polo?  It seems that Marco inspired another famous explorer Christopher Columbus.  For that reason, it’s not surprising and, actually, seems fitting that American kids in droves sing out the name of a famous Italian each summer.

I’ll conclude by sharing this poolside image, taken in Cary, North Carolina on what was a glorious, summer day today:
by the pool in Cary, N.C., June 2013.

by the pool in Cary, N.C., June 2013.

It’s summertime, for sure.  Are you a fan?
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Are We Limiting Justice?

May 30, 2013 by Leave a Comment
limonwhitaker.com's image of gavel smashing a clock

limonwhitaker.com’s image of a gavel smashing a clock

Have you heard the news that an estimated 400,000 rape kits are sitting untested here in the U.S.?

Watch this “Rape kits go untested for decades” news report by CNN’s Randi Kaye.

After first viewing the segment, I felt angry. I also felt empathy for the two rape victims who were interviewed in the piece as well as thousands of other rape victims who have been hurt by the described negligence and injustice of the U.S. legal system. Last, I was appalled by the fact that varying U.S. state statute of limitations laws applying to rape cases are allowing known rapists to walk free after committing their crimes.

According to about.com, a statute of limitations is “the time limit the law puts on police and prosecutors to lay charges in a crime” and is “put in place in order to ensure that people are swiftly brought to justice by police and to allow people to move on with their lives without fear of past deeds coming back to get them after they have reformed themselves.”  Also according to the site, murder and treason are the only crimes for which statutes of limitations do not apply.

What do you think?  Do you think that U.S. states should have the right to create statutes of limitations for misdemeanor or felony rape cases?

It seems that if the status quo for rape case statutes of limitations continues in our country, more bad deeds will go unpunished.

Yes, maybe it’s time to change some laws, and maybe it’s time to unlimit justice for U.S. victims of rape.

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Still Laughing Along

May 19, 2013 by 6 Comments
rmtlondoncalling.org's sexism poster image

rmtlondoncalling.org sexism poster image

I follow the teamgloria blog that is authored by a talented writer who also happens to be a “glorious” woman.  This post of hers about an episode of blatant sexism that she experienced earlier this week was difficult to read and gave me pause.

Though work and personal tasks have kept me busy over the past few days, the truth of that post – the fact that it’s 2013 and women in the U.S. are still experiencing sexism on a professional and personal level – has lingered in the back of my mind.

Over the past few days, I’ve thought about the behavior of men and women and have asked myself questions like:  Exactly what is it in our modern world that keeps sexism and sexist attitudes alive?  Is sexism something that’s learned, or are sexist beliefs and attitudes derived from somewhere within us?  And, can both men and women be held responsible for perpetuating sexist beliefs?

Consider the unending female focus on external beauty and the struggle to attain what society deems as the “perfect body.”  Since the days of Cleopatra, women have adorned themselves with jewels, worn makeup and perfumes, and have striven to be considered beautiful in society.

Why do women strive for external beauty?  Is the end game goal to attract members of the opposite sex?  If so, then aren’t women partially culpable in objectifying themselves?  When it comes to sexism and its causes, the questions and answers aren’t always simple.  And, the same can be said for being a woman.

Back in 1997, I wrote the below poem that speaks to the complexities and paradox of womanhood.  Whether you’re a woman or man, I’d love to hear your feedback on this post and the poem.  One last point I’ll make is that sexism, past or present, is no laughing matter.

And I Laugh Along

The older man with the aging ego
winks at me and I laugh along with him.

And though my smile does fool him,
I am more than the sweet symbol
of remembered youth and pleasure
he envisions.

For within me and my youthful frame
clangs Eve’s hymn of experience.

Within me, I hear the sounds
of widows’ hearts breaking.

Within me, I hear a chorus of
countless mothers’ sighs that
drowns out all of the
intense borning cries.

Within me, I hear
what I am yet to know.

And I softly smile,
already realizing that
being a woman in this life
often means being misunderstood.

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